Disclosure Statement

Before you dive into our riveting news stream (where we solemnly promise not to nod off), please note:

• We don’t actually write the news. Nope, not a single comma is ours.

• We didn’t research it either—unless you count frantic Googling at 2 a.m.

• We’re simply reading material lovingly crafted by other folks who were kind enough to do all the hard work.

So if something in these stories turns out to be as fictional as a talking pineapple, please remember: we’re just the friendly narrators. For accuracy, gripes, or bouquets of flowers, please direct your attention to the original authors—because we’re only the fun middlemen (and women) bringing their words to your ears. Enjoy the show!